Sunday, January 19, 2014

Let's just be kind to each other, shall we?

Earlier this month, Mama Laughlin posted something on her Facebook page that really struck a chord with me. And all of the sudden I realized...

I was being a hater.
Recently, I've been getting all bent out of shape about people and their behaviors that really, in the grand scheme of things, have no effect on me. I needed a reality check...

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged.

Guilty... guilty as charged.
I have been totally, unashamedly bashing on all the newbie gym members this month.

When you have been going to the gym for years and years, you often forget that the new year calls for new resolutions, often involving health and fitness. I forgot, and blindly wandered over to the gym smack dab in the middle of New Year's Day. I figured I'd take advantage of the day off and get in a nice quiet workout. That was, until I reached the parking lot and couldn't find a spot to save my life. Finally I made it into the crowded locker room, where my usual changing area had been taken over by someone who had spread their things out all over the entire bench. The day lockers were completely full, and once I finally found a place for my things I had to wait to get on a treadmill... say what?! This was not the relaxing, endorphin-releasing experience I had been hoping for. I began to fume...

And I've been pissed off almost every single day as the month has slowly ticked by. I roll my eyes at the gym, post obnoxious Facebook status updates about annoying exercise rookies, and complain incessantly to anyone who will listen. I'm sorry, but what makes me think I'm so much better than these people? Yes, it is moderately annoying to have my typical routine interrupted, but my attitude has been entirely uncalled for. At one point I was a new person at a gym, too, and I appreciated those who took the time and effort to show me the ropes and encourage me. Instead of a hindrance, I should be looking at this as an opportunity...

So now when I hit the gym I do so with an open mind and positive attitude. I smile encouragingly at people who look as though they're not going to make through those last five minutes of cardio, I point out directions to those who look lost or confused, and I generally try to slow my roll and realize that ultimately there are enough lockers and treadmills for all of us.

Let's just be kind to each other, shall we?

I sent my friend Jess a text the other night on my way home:
"I just stood on the bus for 40 minutes while a dozen able-bodied people stared right through me. Chivalry is officially dead."
She said she'd make a note of the date and time and alert the historians.
After waiting for almost a half hour for an extremely crowded bus to finally arrive and take me home on a Friday evening, I was totally exhausted. My back hurt, my feet hurt, I was having killer heartburn, and suffering from some kind of pregnant heat stroke. When the bus finally pulled up, I waddled on. As I hugged my belly and looked around desperately for a place to sit, almost a dozen people either pretended not to notice me, stared right through me, or did not glance up from their various forms of technology. Nice.
At the next couple stops, more and more people crowded onto the bus, and people continued to sit in blissful ignorance of my miserable state. I began stripping off my gloves, scarf, coat and sweater while awkwardly balancing my purse and lunch bag on one arm. The bus got hotter and hotter, and a man wearing a coat that had apparently been rubbed in cat poop pressed up against me as I staggered to stay upright. I tried to hold my breath, keep my knees unlocked, and refrain from passing out or puking onto a fellow commuter.
I fumed and cursed the universe and every single asshole on that bus. I don't know what you were taught, but my parents told me that the polite thing to do is give up your seat when an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person gets on. I guess not everyone gets this memo.
But really... who's to say if every single one of those people didn't also deserve a seat on the bus that day. Maybe that woman is in her first trimester and trying not to vomit herself. Maybe that man has a sprained ankle. Maybe that girl just worked a 12 hour waitressing shift. Maybe that guy has a migraine. I judged people without knowing one single thing about their situation, and that's probably not my business. But I just wanted to sit down, yo! In any case, I shouldn't have let it ruin my evening, and I definitely need to work on my blind judgment of others.
Let's just be kind to each other, shall we?
 And, finally, let's talk about the Seahawks.
Because no post these days would be complete without some mention of them.

Stewart and I are season ticket holders and we attend every single game. We are die hard fans who put our hearts and souls into being the 12th Man, and we expect nothing less of others who choose to attend games at CenturyLink. Therefore, it royally pisses us off when people who attend the games do not understand appropriate fan behavior...

Who are these freaking morons who think that it's okay to hoot and holler when we're on offense?! Sit down! Shut up! Now is a time for quiet, to let the players focus and listen to one another. When you cheer them on you are a distraction! Duh.

Why are you somehow under the impression that you get to tell me to SIT DOWN when we're on defence?! NOW is a time for noise... out of your seat, jumping up and down, screaming at the top of your lungs, Beast Quake style energy. This is where the 12th Man comes into play. Duh.

Who told you that halftime is supposed to drag into the third quarter? Get back in your seat before the game starts!! While you're chit chatting on the concourse eating your overpriced nachos, the energy and sound of the 12th Man is lacking, and often the opposing team will score around this time. Why did you buy a ticket if you're not going to watch the game? Duh.

But you know what? Really, as long as you're a Hawk fan, Stew and I should probably tone down our obsessive, superior fan attitudes. Everyone attends the game to have a good time and to cheer on the Hawks, whether they're at a level 10 like us or at a level 5 like a lot of other people. We should encourage the people around us, not give them the stink eye for "doing it wrong."

That being said, any Forty-Whiner fans at the game tonight are going to get more than the evil eye, they might accidentally have a beer dumped over their heads. But other than that...

Let's just be kind to each other, shall we?
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  1. As a newbie gym goer myself, I appreciate the first half of your post. I'm attending a very small gym that is group class based. There are only about 4-5 "new kids" in the class, but there were only about 10 regulars, so the class seems significantly larger. One day last week, I overheard two of the regulars talking about how they were "so sick of us new people" and would be "glad to see us gone by February or March." It was extremely disheartening but, also, kind of a little motivating. I can't wait to still be there in April, May, June...months after they thought they'd be "glad to see me gone."

  2. I love this. I have been so guilty of this lately.. being so judgy and not knowing the other person's situation. What a great reminder.

  3. i love this so much because it's SO TRUE. we don't know where others are coming from, going through or have been. although whenever i see the elderly or a pregnant woman or a parent with small kids on the bus/subway, i give my seat up.

    Vodka and Soda

  4. This post is awesome. :) It certainly is common courtesy to give up your seat on the bus! You may be right that some of those people may have reasons to be sitting (probably not), but you DON'T know. Perhaps it is best to assume they do rather than to assume they're a-holes! Haha

    I'm rooting for your Hawks today!!!

  5. I try SO hard to be kind to every single person that I come in contact with-- it's so difficult to continue that pattern when
    other people just don't seem to get it. And while I understand that everyone is fighting their own private battles, with every day issues of their own.. I am too and I still suck it up and am kind so why can't they do the same?
    Anyway!! Go Hawks ;)

  6. I also get upset with little things and I let them overwhelm me to the point where I'm just angry at everything around me. I need to stop letting something that irks me color my entire view of the world. Although, when it comes to clueless football fans, I might not have any mercy.. :P


    1. Yeah, the clueless football fans are definitely the hardest to get over. ;-)

  7. I'm terrible at judging people, and never think to stop until I'm home and they are out of the picture. It's hard to get out of that kindest!! But, someone should have given their seat up to you!! Lol!!
    And congrats on the Hawks win!! Super Bowl is going to be awesome!!

  8. It's sad how easy it is for ALL of us to quickly judge someone without knowing anything about them. It's something I'm aware of though and DO try to be more considerate, more compassionate. That's what I'd want someone to do towards me! Although, not giving up a seat for a pregnant lady is pretty crappy- just throwing that out there ;)

  9. Wahoo! Thanks for the shout out, even if it is in reference to something bad that happened to you. This is a great reminder to think twice and worry more about our own actions. The hardest lessons to learn are the most rewarding!

  10. love this so so much!!!! great post

    Moms are so quick to judge each other and knock each other down because this one formula feeds instead of breast feeds, or that one uses store bought diapers instead of cloth just kills me because Ive dealt w this because of things I do w Breanna, however it was in a jokingly manner (to them) but it still hurt me that they would even say stuff. I also get a lot of slack because we only are having one child and its so frustrating

    I really hope you dont experience any of this once your little one comes but if you need any advice I am here!!


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