Monday, April 7, 2014

Maybe we never should have gotten engaged...

Okay, I don't really mean that. OF COURSE I'm so happy that Stewart proposed and that I am spending my life married to my very best friend. But we were having a discussion over the weekend that really made me think...
Stew and I have been under a tremendous amount of pressure and stress for what seems like the longest time. We're so busy and over scheduled that sometimes it seems like we can't even enjoy the fun things, because everything is just something else to check off one giant checklist that consumes our lives. I found myself wondering when all this started...
Because when we first met, all we did was play, all the time.
Booze cruises, beer fests, Seafair, camping trips, Sunland shenanigans, fairs, Oktoberfests, birthdays, ski trips, concerts, weekends in Las Vegas, adult proms, festivals, holiday beach trips... my blog is virtual vault of all the fun, carefree times we used to have. And even in the midst of all that, Stew managed to get hired as a firefighter, go through the fire academy, graduate and begin his new career. Oh, and I finished a nine month night program at UW and became a certified paralegal. We also bought a condo and moved in together, but even that didn't seem to turn us into adults slow us down.
When the heck did life start being more work, and less fun?
It all started with that diamond ring on the coast of Italy, if you ask me...
Following our whirlwind tour of Europe, we started planning a huge, elaborate, St. Patrick's Day wedding. That was about a year of some of the most stressful and time consuming planning I've ever been a part of. We took a little time to relax after our amazing honeymoon, but shortly thereafter decided that it was time to move to the suburbs. This meant another year or so of house searching and purchasing, combined with simultaneously selling our condoWhat a process... Then there was planning and executing The Big Move, followed by months of settling into our new home.
And y'all know what happened next...
I mean, I was living in a perfect house in suburbia with the perfect husband; it was inevitable that I got knocked up. And as I'm sure my regular readers can confirm, our focus has shifted to baby baby baby ever since.
I promise, I'm not complaining...
Just pondering, really.
I couldn't be happier with our lives and our choices, but sometimes I do miss those carefree days when weekends consisted of choosing which lake to take the boat out on, and which bar to party at afterwards. When eating Dick's at midnight was the norm, and a hangover cure consisted of a greasy breakfast and an Advil, instead of two days in bed.
I know seasons change, and so do people. We haven't changed who we ultimately are, but life is just different these days. And we've crossed some major milestones over the past couple years, all in a row... It was bound to be stressful.
But I'll admit, I'm looking forward to the future... one in which we're completely settled into our house (and we never, ever have to buy or build another piece of furniture ever again) with our little Baby Boy in our arms. We'll get to spend the entire summer together, enjoying one another, our home, and hopefully some sunshine. I know there are stressful times ahead (mostly involving a crying infant), but somehow I feel that things are about to take a turn for the better, and I'm so excited...
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  1. Having been married for almost 6 years now, and 2 dogs, 2 kids later, I have to admit, I wonder the same thing. What if I never met my current hubs? What would I be doing now? What if we wouldn't have had those dogs or kids? What would I be doing now? As much fun as it is to dream about an evening of just eating cereal and bumming in front of the TV (instead of cooking a healthy meal, giving the kids baths, feeding the dogs, and then finally have an hour to myself), I know I'd just be bored without all of the craziness. And as crazy as it is now, I just know that in a few short years, my kids will be independent lil buggers and I'll be BEGGING to spend time with them. All that said, life is stressful but I'm glad you're looking forward to happier (and less stressful) times. I'm pretty sure they will outweigh all the possible stress in the world.

  2. Oh, I'm so excited for you two! After having baby boy it really will make you slow down and focus on the family.. It's fun but also very different from not having kids. Take my advice and life experience and use SOMEONE to watch your beautiful baby boy and go out have fun together, you can still do that! You are lucky to have a lot of support around! I just wish we could have had SOMEONE to help us at some point but we never did and I'm seriously drained! We were just talking about that this weekend, how we love to get out and do fun things and how we'd love to just once be able to do that without worrying about feeding a child healthy food or getting him a nap or just being extra responsible in general. It would be nice to be care free for one weekend a year! ;) But it really is the best thing ever growing up and having kids, even with all the stress, it's amazing!

  3. I totally get what you're saying! I think about all the crazy memories I have with Jake from before our wedding/baby and I do miss aspects of it, but I also love the new memories we're making!!

  4. Some day you'll probably look back at THIS time and say the same thing! :)

  5. I couldn't have written this any better!! I know what you mean 110% !! So refreshing to see someone else feels the same way I have felt !! Trust me it will get more stressful after baby boy arrives but it will be worth it ;)

  6. I totally hear you! I sometimes look back at our lives before we moved in together and miss all the random fun we used to have. Sure, we've had loads of fun since but we've had a lot of stress, heartbreak and general misery too. It seems like we have to MAKE the good times happen these days to offset the bad times that just keep coming. I miss the light, happy, carefree person I used to be! But for you, as hard as it's going to be when baby boy arrives and turns your life upside down, just think how amazing it's going to be at the same time!! I can't wait to see your life as a family develop :)

  7. as someone who's never been married, i find this truly fascinating--i never thought of it like this!

  8. I think we ALL have these thoughts throughout the course of our lives. I guess it comes with getting older and maturing. I've been married 15 years and have 3 kids. There are many days that I long for the carefree life I used to live. The reality of it is though that I know I'd never really want to go back to those days.

  9. Our life has shifted a bit too since the engagement. It's lots of planning, preparing, organizing, etc. I think it's good to realize that and then embrace the fun side of things as much as possible. Ya'll should go out on some great date before the little one gets here!

  10. My anxiety attacks started shortly after getting engaged. I feel ya on this one!!

  11. I agree and totally understand. But....I'd never want to go back to single/dating days, ever! I am so envious of the couples who have 20, 30, 40 years on our 10.

  12. I'm totally excited for all those including you that's pregnant. I have a cousin who is pregnant with baby #4 and we are hoping for a girl since she already has 3 boys. 3 yr olds and a set of twins who are 1. :D So many blogger ladies are pregnant and its great to see their stories and all.


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