Thursday, May 30, 2013

My Two Cents

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go.

If a little girl lets go of her mother's hand and attempts to cross the street alone, she's likely to get run down by a truck.

People make a big deal about letting go... let go of grudges, hate, anger, resentment. Yes, forgiveness is good, but it's not always best to forget.

I've been really hurt quite a few times in my life. Get over it, move on, let it go... these are definitely pieces of advice I've received. But you know what? Maybe it's important that I recall those times when I was treated badly, in order to avoid those same circumstances in the future. To help me remember to stand up for myself, and not allow someone to take advantage of me or stab me in the back again.

I have definitely been accused of being too nice. I let things go, I don't speak up when something bothers me, I take the high road, I become a martyr. I wish I was a stronger person, someone who stood up for myself more and who could say, "You know what? NO. This is not okay, and I'm not going to just let it go." Because I deserve better.

On the flip side, if there's one thing I have learned about letting go, it's that unfortunately most friendships won't stand the test of time. Friendships often form because of temporary circumstances (you live in a dorm together, you’re in the same class), and friendly activities often center around the freedoms of young life (going out on a Wednesday night, suntanning in the middle of the day, road trips). But once you reach your late 20s, your circle will mostly likely dissipate as people begin careers, move or get married, and you’ll find out quickly which friendships are going to withstand the burdens of stress, distance, and time.

This is normal, and it's okay. I think it's better to have a few close friendships than a bustling, superficial social circle. And while it may seem more fun on the surface to party with a huge crew, I've learned that it's much more important to focus on building lasting relationships with a few true friends. And as the gaps widen between you and all those convenient, superficial, acquaintances... it's okay to let go. Don't hold on to a friendship that's not beneficial to your life anymore just because of superficial feelings of nostalgia. Go ahead and let go, and let those people fade into the past, making extra room for the friendships that truly matter.

But that's just my two cents!


  1. I agree that the "let it go" attitude is not always healthy - it can cause people to be repeatedly used and mistreated by others, all because they wanted to "forgive".

    When it comes to friends: quality over quantity for sure!

  2. Growing up my momma would always tell me, "If you can count the number of true friends on even one hand, you are richer than a man with all the gold in the world." That never really clicked until I started really looking at the relationships in my life. I had kept a hold of people who were better off being kept in the past as memories. It was hard, but now I focus on surrounding myself with people who lift me up. I love your post, thank you so much for sharing.


  3. I think instead of forgetting something, it's important to learn from the experiences you have. At the same time, I try not to hold onto the emotions (like anger, sadness, etc.) for a long time. I want to learn and move on (and hopefully not make many of the same mistakes again).

  4. I think it's better to let go for you. If you hold on to resentment and anger all your life you'll be bitter and unhappy. But I agree with you, there's no need to do it quickly and you shouldn't just forget. People will hurt you easily that way. It's a happy balance you find! xo

  5. feeling the same way lately, I think it's something that happens as we get into our thirties! aah! I feel like I've woken up and finally realized who I am & to stop letting people walk on me. Another interesting thing I was going to tell you about is this quiz I took online for HSP (highly sensitive persons).. I think I MAY be highly sensitive, lol! And I'm just finding this out! I've had so many friendships for work/school, etc and moving to Oregon and then back here was a huge eye opener. It was so hard to make friends in a town where I knew no one! And then moving back here I thought I would have my old friends but a lot of them didn't even call me ONCE while I was in Oregon! And even though they did that I really tried to hang out with them quite a few times but it hasn't worked out so I've officially given up! It sucks because Dustin has a big group of friends who want to hang out every weekend and are really cool, so I decided to just hang out with him and his friends ( I still have a couple girlfriends of my own here) but it's been nice to just LET GO! I can't do all the work in the friendships all the time ;) p.s. I'm glad we are still friends even though we live so far away! Love ya!

  6. i've really worked on letting it go. i'm not one to hold a grudge, but i'm bad at letting myself get walked over. struggle!

  7. Indeed! I like how you hit upon the friend thing as well. I guess that just seems to be coming up for a lot of us lately. Maybe it's the idea of spring cleaning and a fresh new summer upon us that makes us feel like it's time to look forward and be ok with letting some things go even if it's hard.

    1. I think maybe it's inevitable as we reach our late 20s and 30s... priorities just become different, etc. I love the "spring cleaning" idea. :-)

  8. I couldn't agree with you more here.. I'm at the point in my life where the two very close friends I have are just right for me. No nonsense, stand the test of time friends that make my world go round!!


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