Birthday Solitude

For my birthday this year, all I really wanted was to be left alone.

Not in a bad way.

But being a mother to two children hasn't really given me a lot of solitude this year.

The littlest one has been breastfeeding for most of the year, and has recently decided that she needs to be held the majority of the time. The bigger one somehow almost always ends up sleeping in our bed, and refuses to adhere to societal norms of privacy during bathroom activities. As I told my sister, I'm never alone... not even when I poop or shower.

So in a sign of generosity and understanding that almost made me weep with relief and gratitude, my sister planned a weekend away at the coast for my birthday. Just the two of us, and she said we didn't even have to speak if I didn't want to.

My mom agreed to take the kids for two nights, and I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. Stew seemed to think I had gone a little insane, but told me to enjoy myself.

We stayed in an absolutely adorable little cabin in Seabrook.

We had a private porch, hot tub, and fire pit!

And in an unlikely turn of events for the Washington state coast, the December weather was absolutely beautiful!

Every day we went for long walks on the beach that cleansed and refreshed my soul.

  

This was a particularly difficult birthday for me, because it was the first that I have ever spent without my grandma. 

Her birthday is the day before mine, and we have almost always celebrated together. My sister and I spent a lot of time thinking and talking about her this weekend. And on December 9, grandma's birthday, the sun peeked out from behind the clouds in such a beautiful way that we were almost sure that she was saying hello.

This trip was one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received, and I can't thank my little sister enough for planning it. It was the exact refresh I desperately needed.

Here's to another year older and (hopefully) wiser!