Monday, September 29, 2014

This is my life. I talk about poop. Feel free to unfriend me.

This morning I stood by the coffee maker, talking about my son's bowel movements with a co-worker. Mainly I was trying to give validity to my complete exhaustion by explaining Ryder's new habit of having a major diaper blowout at around four o'clock each morning. It took me a while to realize that poop is not suitable water cooler conversation. Alas, this is my life now, so sometimes it's all I have to talk about.
When I pick Ryder up from the sitter, we discuss how many dirty diapers he had that day like it's the most normal, interesting topic in the world. "Good job!" I exclaim to my son, like his bodily functions are the most exciting things I've heard about all day. (And they are).
The other day Stewart and I found ourselves in Ryder's nursery, bent over his dresser, staring intently into a diaper full of poop. Our faces were inches from the foulness as we contemplated the color, texture, consistency. (There was a tiny bit of blood in his diaper, and we were wondering if we should call the doctor).
Is this my new normal?

I spent the first five years of our relationship pretending that I didn't poop. Now this is what our marriage has been reduced to. Conversations about poop.
Seriously though, have you ever heard an infant produce a fart so loud it sounds like it came from a grown man? Stewart and I could sit around and laugh all day at Ryder and the noises he produces. (But that's it. I said fart on my blog. This has really gone too far).
I think I need a poop intervention.
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  1. This post is just the laugh I needed this morning :) When my daughter was a newborn I would take photos of her poop to show her doctor lol I felt like such a creep but he assured me that this was not the first time he had seen photos of poopy diapers haha !!! Being a momma is so glamorous right?!?!

  2. Yep, we talk about poop all the time with our au pair. I want to know how many times, what was the consistency. And if there's more blood in that poop, definitely call the doctor because it may be a food allergy. Once I called the doc about bloody poop, but it was dark when I "saw" it and turned out to be nothing. No problemo. Those docs understand!

  3. LOL! This is too funny! I particularly like the part about you spending the first five years of your relationship pretending you don't poop! I still pretend I don't poop! BUT it's totally fine to be talking about your baby's poop! HAHAHA. Oh, I can't stop laughing.... :)

  4. that sounds about right-my day at work (nanny) is talking to the mom about this!

  5. Haha. I'm pretty sure this is exactly normal. Non-mom's just need to get over it. ;-)

  6. Omgosh, so funny and sounds about right to us!

    xx 365hangers

    1. I really try not to be "that" parent who can't talk about anything other than her kids, but I admit it's hard sometimes!

  7. I don't mind at all when you talk about this stuff - I find it interesting and I always seem to learn something new. I am sure one day, I will find myself thinking, "oh no, I remember Sarah said Ryder pooped like this too, it's okay..." :)

  8. I have no problemo talking about poop, and I don't even have a kid to blame it on. The other day my friend Joel was giving me shit {no pun intended} for making him wait to go to breakfast, and in front of everyone I told him that he knows I like to poop before I do anything in the morning. Everyone just nodded in agreement, and I was happy to have friends that are cool like that ;)

  9. This is so funny! As an ex nursery nurse, I could tell you some real horror stories about dirty nappies (I'm talking luminous, exploding, you name it!). My godson can fart like the best of men, no lie!


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