To the Dad with the Screaming Toddler

 

To the Dad with the screaming toddler on the bus this morning:

You're doing a good job.

I sat next to you on the damp, crowded, stinky city bus while your little boy thrashed and screeched at the top of his lungs. You were juggling a diaper bag, a stroller, and a writhing toddler with disheveled hair, face red from wailing, snot running down his face.

As he howled "Nooooooo Daddy!" you continued to speak to him calmly and lovingly. In between back arches, you cuddled him close to you, brushed back his hair and rocked him.

When he threw himself onto the floor of the bus again and again, you diligently scooped him up, straightened his coat, retrieved his shoe, and expertly snatched the stroller before it went rolling down the aisle.

Other commuters glared at you in annoyance, not even attempting to conceal eye rolls and exasperated sighs. Because god forbid the silence of their morning coffee and daily news be interrupted by a child's tantrum.

A year ago, I might have been one of them...

But today, I smiled in encouragement and said, sincerely, "You're doing a good job."

You looked up in surprise and began trying to explain that your son is usually very calm and well behaved. You trailed off as he once again flopped onto the floor of the bus, sobbing and squirming.

"It's okay. You're doing a good job."

You didn't need to explain. I know enough now to realize that simply getting out of the house and onto the bus with that little boy was probably a small miracle.

Maybe you're going through a divorce and it's your first time dropping him off at daycare. Maybe he has an earache and you're taking him to the doctor. Maybe your car broke down and you don't have another option this morning. Maybe your wife is desperate for a break, so you've left the house for a few hours so she can get some relief.

It's none of my business.

All I know is that you're clearly doing the best you can, and that you love your son. He loves you too (and will show it when he eventually stops screaming). Don't let these assholes on the bus get you down.

You're doing a good job.