I first noticed him a few months ago when we had some friends over. I glanced across the street at the condominium building across from us and was greeted by an extremely large, pale, fleshy, male butt. Our neighbor was mooning us! As I began to react and screech, and some of our other house guests began looking out the window at him, Ugly Naked Guy proceeded to pull his shorts up and down, giving us special glimpses of his crack and cheeks. Ew!
Since then, Ugly Naked Guy has kept up his performances, which lately have been increasing in frequency. He quite often shuffles around his apartment in his birthday suit, but the other night as I was standing at the sink doing dishes he gave me a special show. He turned his back to the window and began to pull his shorts up and down while seductively looking back over his shoulder. "OMG OMG!" I screeched at Stew. "Ugly Naked Guy is mooning us again!"
But last night I realized that what was kind of funny when Stewart was home is, in fact, not so hilarious when I'm alone in our condo. Ugly Naked Guy was up to his same antics, standing in his apartment briefly pulling his pants down to aim his big ol' backside at our condo. But even creepier, he also spent quite a bit of time right up against his window, just staring across the street at me, occasionally waving frantically. That's when I closed all the blinds.
For obvious reasons, this situation is not nearly as entertaining as when Miranda played "peek-a-boo" with her cute across-the-airshaft neighbor in Sex and the City. But I suppose maybe it is self-centered to assume that Ugly Naked Guy is trying to get MY attention. Who knows, perhaps he's actually attempting to flirt with an Ugly Naked Gal who lives near my unit.
In any case, he's really starting to creep me out, and if it continues I'm going to take a video and call the cops.
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| Ugly Naked Guy in full naked glory. (Apologies for poor picture quality... or maybe you'd rather not see more!) |
A) you should take a video either way, this sounds hilarious!! B) At least he's mooning you and not giving you a full frontal show, right...?
ReplyDeletehahah I totalyl remember ugly naked guy! Then Ross went over and became friends with him to get his apartment right?!
ReplyDeleteoh gross!! ewww totally not cool. that man needs to cover up or close his blinds on his window or buy some if he doesn't have any.
ReplyDeleteHaha, Ugly Naked Guy was a great character. But not great in real life! Ewwwww!
ReplyDeleteIf you were to call the cops, I don't think they'd be able to do anything if he's doing it from inside his own apartment :-( But good thing you're moving out soon!
Ugh! That is super creepy! I don't blame you for being creeped out! You need a friend to dress up like a cop and hang out for an afternoon to scare the guy!
ReplyDeleteOMG you added a picture!!! Unless I just didn't see it before. Creepola!
ReplyDeleteUNG the character was funny because he was oblivious, but the whole playing to an audience (especially a woman alone)...nasty! I hope it ends soon. Yuck!
ReplyDeleteWEIRDO! is he totally naked in that picture? I'd definitely call the cops, who knows if he's some freakshow pedophile. Once is funny, but him purposely doing that over and over again.....gross!
ReplyDeleteomg so funny but also super creepy, good thing you are moving soon, you won't find this in your new neighborhood i'm sure! this is so funny though b/c it IS just like friends!!
ReplyDeleteYep, in that pic he's totally naked. Usually for his morning show he walks around in his birthday suit back and forth in front of the window for a whole, stopping and staring out sometimes so he can be sure everyone gets a full frontal view. Then in the evening he's usually clothed, and that's when he does his waving bit, followed by dropping his shorts, mooning, and looking seductively over his shoulder. Sick.
ReplyDeleteWhoa - that's super creepy.
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